I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
