State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
