I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
