I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
