Since when is my name a synonym for head?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
