Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
