Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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