sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
