Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
