i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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