Well douche your snatch and let's go!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
