Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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