i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
