just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
