I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
did i walk over a car last night?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
