I feel like abortions should bother me more
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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