What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
