those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
