Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
