im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
