so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
