I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
