okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
