I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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