i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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