he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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