That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
