Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
