Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
