Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
