Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Actions speak louder than pants.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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