I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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