new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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