I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
