I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
