how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
