that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dignity is for republicans.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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