Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
