How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
