You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
