She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
