Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
