your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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