i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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