I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
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