Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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