Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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