haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
