bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
