And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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