Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
